August 8, 2012 THE VILLADOM TIMES from those who trust them, but sending middle-class, middle-age people to do serious prison time is a virtual guarantee they will suffer violence. People have nicked me for money, now and again, and I have not hired villains to pursue them, or even taken them to court. I simply never loaned them money again. The urge to inflict drastic punishment on non-violent offenders has been studied by psychologists. They found that some people enjoyed giving electric shocks to people who had been designated as being in need of punishment, as long as they could do it without being observed. (The shocks were almost imperceptible because the psychologists conducting the experiments were not sadists, even though they discovered most of the people in the study were.) Sending people to prison because they misrepresent their income in real estate deals is a great way to keep a lot of paupers satiated, but anybody who has not done that sort of thing probably got his or her first house because a parent provided the money. Having banned imprisonment for “stolen valor,” should we not consider a similar ban on “stolen solvency” unless deliberate theft by fraud takes place? Do we really want to imprison people because they tried to get a mortgage by claiming to be making $150,000 when they were only making $100,000? When nobody gets hurt, nobody should be removed from taxpayer status. There are not enough of us left. The response from those who are not secret sadists or closet Marxists in three-piece polyester suits is also interesting. While half the populace appears to have wanted drastic punishment for the alleged pilfering of the sports funds, the other half wanted to avoid any censure or ridicule because the alleged perpetrator was involved in sports. Should we conclude that anything done in the name of sports somehow renders stealing harmless and blameless - even when the guy who was involved in sports reportedly stole money donated to support to sports? In the dying economic zone known as Europe, sports fans used to routinely engage in vandalism and beat up rival fans -- but it was “okay” because it was about “sports.” America is still marginally vital. Let’s not go that route. A crowd of sports fans that breaks things and beats people up is just as culpable as a street gang and deserves to be treated in the same manner. Go directly to jail. Do not collect your $200 in dole money this week. Sports are a great benefit to society. Sports give kids a way to burn off surplus energy, stay in shape, and avoid smoking and drugs. Sports are good for health and can be a lot of fun. When “sports” means the elevation of athletic activities beyond the normal constraints of decent behavior, it is a socially dangerous concept. Recently, a couple of New Jersey State Troopers lost their jobs because they allowed guys with muscle cars to drive 100 miles per hour on a public thoroughfare and pretty much blow other cars off the road. Nobody got killed, but some people who were compelled to observe the speed limit took videos. The leader of the muscle car brigade was a celebrity in guess what field of endeavor: III • Page 23 The news is ominous from Wyckoff. A few weeks ago, two young males showed up at a residential home and told the woman of the house that her 18-year-old son owed them $40. This sort of thing does not usually provoke savage confrontations, but a few hours after the visit, the son reportedly popped up in the parking lot of a local shopping center and attacked the debt collectors’ car with a baseball bat, and then attacked the debt collectors. Both would-be debt collectors went to Valley Hospital. One needed 10 stitches and the other required surgery to his arm. The guy with the baseball bat went to the Bergen County Jail in lieu of $25,000 bail. The good people of Wyckoff returned to peaceful and constructive activities. Then another incident occurred. A young Wyckoff woman who had once dated a Ridgewood man invited him for a ride in her new car and drove him to the parking lot of a local school, where multiple assailants reportedly pounced on him, beat him with a baseball bat and a pipe, and took his wallet. The Wyckoff police have made four arrests. Is it time to ban baseball bats? Obviously, this is a facetious question, because if bad-tempered people wish to avenge a mortal insult like having a debt collected, they may also have access to golf clubs, tennis rackets, or various automotive tools that will have a similar impact. We should, I suppose, be happy that no assault rifles were involved in either incident. But pause and reflect on a totally non-violent incident that cropped up while we were still pondering the misadventures involving the various batsmen. In Glen Rock, also a community not noted for crime, a 46-year-old father of two was arrested for stealing “thousands” of dollars from a sports organization where he was both a treasurer and a coach. The public response to this alleged caper was fascinating. About half the people who commented wanted him pilloried and sent to clean highways in an orange jumpsuit, while the other half felt sorry for his family and criticized the news organization that broke the story for harming his standing in the community. I do not believe in prison time for most non-violent financial crimes. (Cases like the one concerning Bernie Madoff, who left behind suicides and bankruptcies, can be considered a special exception.) People who kill or cripple others or molest children or resisting adults deserve to go away for The Whole Day without parole. People who steal in ways that do not create bodily harm should be forced to pay the victims four times as much as they stole. The much-maligned Puritans did it that way in Plymouth and Massachusetts Bay, and before the shock of King Philip’s War undermined their self-confidence, they ran a just society. They were intolerant of people of other religions, but these people had been told not to come around. It may not have been nice, but it was better than the Mother Country where servants were sometimes hanged for stealing lace and executions were public festivals. Violent punishments for non-violent offenders are over the top. I do not have much sympathy for people who steal Is a baseball bats ban really a vital necessity? sports. A lot of people defended his right to speed because he was in sports. America is faced with three dilemmas because people mistake the obsession with sports for the wholesome recreational activity. On a local basis, we are regularly flooding the Ho-Ho-Kus Brook and our neighbors’ basements because of excessive impermeable surfaces -- read here asphalt for parking and artificial turf for all-weather sports. “Sports” makes it difficult to control the impermeable expansion because, hey, it’s for “sports.” On a national basis, our public schools are generally understood to be a disgrace, with math and science scores in the second or third decile and English scores at the bottom of the heap for the English-speaking world. What contributes to this problem is that many teachers are hired or retained in academic departments because they coach “sports,” not because they understand the subjects they are paid to teach. Treating the athletic program as the be-all and end-all of school excellence is no help to America’s appalling test scores and the need to import professionals from other countries. On the global level, we have the problem of global warming, and here we come full circle. We can’t curtail the expansion of impermeable artificial turf and sports parking asphalt because they are needed for sports, and we cannot explain the reality of global warming to people who have learned their linguistic and reasoning skills from teachers who got their teaching jobs because they were good at sports. People who cannot reason sometimes prate that global warming is not a fact because there are just as many scientists who do not believe in it as those who do. Teachers who coach sometimes talk about majority rule in government. In science, there is no majority rule. There are statistics and repeated experiments. Nobody cares about opinions or a show of hands on whether penicillin cures diseases or smoking causes them. Juries are supposed to vote on the evidence, not on whether they like the defendant. Remember OJ? Remember what he did for a living? Do you think if OJ had been engaged in any other career -- used car sales, for instance -- he would have gotten off? Here is a good word for sports. About 45 years ago, I was squatting in the Z Company Barracks at Fort Dix with a bunch of other recruits. One of the sergeants was laying into us about the importance of weapons training. “Remember you’re here to close with the enemy and destroy him, and remember that no enemy of the United States has ever been killed with a baseball bat, a golf club, or a tennis racket. Any questions?” “Point of order, Sergeant,” I replied. “When Pancho Villa invaded Columbus, New Mexico, a U.S. cavalryman killed a couple of Mexican bandits with a baseball bat.” “You thinkin’ about OCS, Stretch?” the sergeant asked. “Already signed up, Sergeant,” I said. Never let it be said that I was less than honest in assessing the importance of “sports” outside the world of sports. In a serious fight, I would leave the baseball bat behind and pick up a rifle. Baseball bats are okay in their place. Violent confrontations are not their place. Nor should “sports” convey immunity to environmental and fiscal outrages. Ho-Ho-Kus Jottings Council to meet once in August The Ho-Ho-Kus Council will hold one combination work/public session in August. The meeting will be held on Aug. 21 at 8 p.m. Sessions are held at Ho-Ho-Kus Borough Hall, 333 Warren Avenue, Ho-Ho-Kus. Police offer announcements via Twitter The Ho-Ho-Kus Police Department is now featuring special announcements that will be available to the public via Twitter. The link to Twitter may be found on the department’s website, www.ho-ho-kuspolice.com. Messages will cover various non-emergency situations, such as road closings and delayed school openings. Emergency information and other situations that affect the community will still be disseminated via Reverse 911. Nursery school openings announced The Ho-Ho-Kus/Waldwick Cooperative Nursery School has openings in its two-year-old and three-year-old programs for the 2012-13 school year. Programs are dedicated to providing students with a comprehensive preschool education through song, role-playing, art, music, and physical activity. The school, owned and administered by the parent members, is incorporated and state approved as a nonprofit, non-sectarian educational organization. For more information, contact the school at (201) 4458424 or e-mail director@hohokuswaldwickcoop.com. VFW welcomes new members The Ho-Ho-Kus VFW, which serves Ho-Ho-Kus and Ridgewood, welcomes new members. The group meets on the second Wednesday of every month at 7:30 p.m. at the Post Home, 620 Cliff Street, Ho-Ho-Kus. For additional information, call (201) 445-1121. ‘Treasures from Ho-Ho-Kus’ for sale The Contemporary Cub of Ho-Ho-Kus is offering its “Treasures from Ho-Ho-Kus” cookbook for $20. This edition is a revision of the 1975 “Ho-Ho-Kus Hostesses” cookbook. The updated version contains favorite recipes, some of which are over 100 years old, from residents, past and present U.S. Presidents, the Ho-Ho-Kus Inn, and the Hermitage. Proceeds will benefit various charities. To obtain a copy, call Sandra Alworth at (201) 447-1438. Copies are also available at borough hall, 333 Warren Avenue.