March 16, 2011 THE VILLADOM TIMES II • Page 15 I once tutored a third-generation American with a college-adequate IQ who had never encountered the words “chart” or “seldom.” I asked whether he had read these words in school and he said there sometimes weren’t enough books to go around and the kids watched the movies the books were based on in class instead of reading. You’re not going to fix that kind of teaching by giving the teachers automatic raises or saving tenure at all costs. Here is my response to some of the services that might have to be cut if the money isn’t there. Elementary guidance services: Why do elementary school students need guidance services more than older people on fixed incomes need to keep their houses? Presumably, the elementary school kids will be going to the high school in the district unless Mom and Pop lose the house first. Swing that axe. Elementary world language program: I might save this one, but since most kids who aren’t Ivy Stalkers get by with two years of Spanish, they probably wouldn’t miss it much. You can learn and practice Spanish by watching TV. Shed a tear and swing the axe. Co-curricular/after school clubs: How much can these really cost? If it means keeping the building open for a few hours, keep them. If it means paying extra stipends to teachers, it’s axe time. Instrumental music: I would save this one with the understanding that most “school” musicians have studied privately at their families’ own expense. One of my tutorial students once told the public relations man for her own district that she couldn’t get on the A list for school recognition because she wasn’t taking private music lessons. He didn’t believe her, but when he investigated, he apologized because she was telling the truth. How does this work? The school takes pride in its music program so much that only kids who have private outside lessons are accepted. Vocal music: My daughter sang all over the world with the Princeton Glee Club. She sang in Iceland and in Prague. She was the backup to the lead singer. The lead singer had to be a soprano and Emily was a mezzo-soprano, which is why she decided not to opt for a career in opera. Her only vocal music lessons were in church. She still sings in church. My wife and I recently saw a TV reprise of the singers whose music was on the radio when we (and they) were teenagers. Most 1950s rock stars, if they were Americans, also started singing in church. Save church. Art: Come on, you know you’re not really going to drop art. Instructional technology for use in the classroom: The kids who are interested already know more about this stuff than the teachers do. Interscholastic sports: The fact that so many Americans care more about sports than about reading is a bit of a problem. Library media specialist services: Kids today learn to Google before they learn to gargle and shortly after they learn to giggle. School libraries should remain open at all costs and feature lots of books. The kids have computers at home. Ongoing professional development of the teaching staff: Asking the taxpayers to foot the bill for vacations to places where the teacher doesn’t speak the local language is a studied insult to the natives and the taxpayers. I remember a story about one tourist who gushed about how exciting to be in the Far East. “Far East of what?” the tour host asked. Good point. Teachers belong in the classroom in front of the kids, not at conferences in California or Chicago while substitutes cover for them and struggle to keep the kids busy. Drop this one as though it were radioactive. Class size: I once covered a performance by an elementary school class asking the borough council to show more concern for the environment. The 10 bright, well-behaved kids in this class had a teacher and a teacher’s aide to ride herd over them. These kids didn’t need Matt Dillon to head off a classroom riot. I figure that’s about $125,000 to cover 10 obedient third graders. Can the taxpayers still afford this? I don’t think so. Teachers’ aides, except for special education, are an expensive luxury. The last college class I lectured, at Rutgers in February, had about 50 students. The classes I taught at Ramapo College some years ago had about 25 students. Teachers are paid to teach. They’re not paid, and shouldn’t be paid, to be Mommy because Mommy can’t be bothered or because Mommy is too busy working so she can pay the property taxes to pay for the schools. To the amazement of several school administration officials, most of the board of education elections in the towns I cover are being contested this year. People shake their heads and wonder why anyone would run for a local board of education. I suspect that in most, if not all, cases, the candidates are sincerely concerned with the quality of education and want to do what they can to help the kids. School administrators say they are impressed and grateful for any consenting adults who would step between the rock – let’s say boulder – of Governor Chris Christie, who is telling the teachers that the taxpayers can no longer afford their impressive salaries, and the hard place of the teachers’ unions. Recently, two municipal officials tried to tell the workers’ unions that unless every member agreed to a one-daya-month furlough, people who were superfluous would have to be laid off. Nobody wanted to hear it. Guess what: The present official, a kindly man, was left with no choice but to cut about 10 percent of the municipal administration. The money just wasn’t there. We can’t just keep running money off printing presses because unless the money is backed by gold or silver. The kids can tell you how to save the schools. Replace any teachers who can’t teach, and let their replacements know they are also subject to being cut if they don’t know the subject or can’t communicate it. Overpaid administrators, particularly those who are superfluous, must be trimmed. This will eventually happen as things become more desperate, and they’re headed that way fast. Among other things, the number of property tax appeals is said to be astronomical. Some school administrators and trustees are now tugging at the heartstrings of the parents and of the older residents who love their hometowns. A survey offered to residents in one local school district asked the residents how they felt about the statement, “Public schools are the center of the community.” Why not “center of the universe” when you own paycheck is at risk? I know how I feel about it. Healthy families – financially healthy families who don’t spend all their time arguing about not enough money – are to my mind the center of the community. Schools are a vital adjunct, but not the center of the community. The public schools can be a useful strainer because people who vector to towns with the cheapest possible schools tend to be Vulgarians, whatever their ethnic heritage. These are the people who think a school is good as long as it’s cheap. Parents who care about their children’s education don’t send their kids to schools with bad academic profiles, and their kids sustain the Advanced Placement and honors classes that make it possible for them to attend, and survive, colleges where a degree means something. Your kid and his friends can be model material, even great athletes and or dancers, but if they can’t spell simple English words, they won’t get into serious colleges, or be able to stay there. A heroic journey or a suicide cruise? 2011 National Merit finalists named The National Merit Scholarship Program has announced the 2011 Merit Scholarship finalists. The six scholars from Ridgewood High School are Ah Byon Hyun, Stephen Etna, Sean D. Mattson, Julia L.Nussenbaum, Jonathan P Riemer and Phoebe B. Salzman-Cohen. Pictured: Hyun Ah Byon, Phoebe B. Salzman-Cohen, Jonathan P. Riemer, Sean D. Mattson, Stephen F. Etna, Julia L. Nussenbaum, with Principal Jack Lorenz and Assistant Principal Jeff Nyhuis.